Like a tortured soul, a closeted super-hero of sorts, I sport multiple personas. 

Mild mannered Information Systems guy by day, insolent smart-ass by night.  Although, as most who have encountered me in the business world will attest to, the line blurs frequently.  Especially when people make the mistake of direct eye contact with me when I’m feeling caustic.  Which is roughly always.

While super-hero is a stretch, a cowl wouldn’t hurt my melon, and I’ve been told I look fetching in a cape.  I draw the line at tights, however, because they chap my thighs.

Since being snarky can be somewhat exhausting, I’m also a life-long kitchen hack and professional satire author (Well – “professional” as soon I sell enough books to pay for their publishing).  I’ve made enough cooking errors in my lifetime to befuddle most, but along the way I’ve developed a strategy to appear adept wielding a mandolin, while maintaining a child-like simplicity that charmingly masks my inadequacies as I slice the tip of my thumb off with it.

I also have a somewhat disturbing penchant for movies and television, which allows me to draw easy-to-understand parallels between your life and, for example, Al Bundy’s.

Wrap it all together in a tasty, sarcastic, educational burrito and you’ve got a meal that satisfies your thirst for practical knowledge as well as making you laugh so hard you may pee a little.

FYI - this picture is accurate.  Those who know me often find me a bit blurry. 

Take a couple three Anacin, enjoy my ranting, and so shall you!